Happy Birthday to me…

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1st-May-2011 to 1st-May-2012.

The most memorable time period of my life. The most happening birthday year. Last year, on this very day, my father was in the hospital. First time in my life, he was not there to spend a whole day with me, on my birthday. I have always been pompous and thankful about the fact that I was born on this ironic day. Everyone remembers it. And everyone gets an off. And I get to spend whole day with my too much regular and punctual dad. I thought that it would remain that way, always. But last year, it was not the case. I was proved wrong. Life has a tendency to spank us with the believed that we thought, could never be any other way, and could never break. I learned that once in our lifetime, things we have firm believe in, take us down, and we see the other side of it, and we feel otherwise. And it is not as vile as it may appear to be. It is, sometimes, planned that way. A plan to make changes in our lives, which we are too lazy to make ourselves. A plan to show the other side of the pic, which we are oblivious of. A plan to make us a better person.

And the turn of events ( or so to speak) in my life, I like to believed was (is) for that purpose. A good purpose. As I see this birthday year, though slapped me hard, but it was just so that I learned my lesson, for better grades. I think, I improved. Even if I didn’t. I tried. I will keep trying.

Because I know for a fact, when you try, even if you don’t get, you learn something. We live, and we learn. And I learned a lot this year. And since I learned, it has to be a BIG THING. I mean, I bothered my brain. My solid, new, fresh, packed and unused brain. I think things I learned deserve a separate page, on my very own blog. So here, I present you all…. ABIDA’S WORDS OF WISDOM… TEEHEE.

http://syedaabidabokhari.wordpress.com/abidas-words-of-wisdom/

This is my birthday gift to myself…A FULL PAGE DEDICATED TO ABIDA’S WORDS OF WISDOM.

I think that’s the bestest gift that I have ever received in my life…

YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY….

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME…. MAY I LIVE , WELL TILL 70.

My interview. YEAH. Suck it up.

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So a good friend and a loyal reader, Hina, decided to take my interview. Here it is.

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Your nick name?

Gurya :( , Aabi.

Your qualification?

Bachelors in English Lit, Economics, History (BA), LLB (Hons). Intend to do LLM.

Describe yourself?

PAINFULLY NORMAL.

Don’t you think you are exceptionally asocial? I have not met anyone as anti social as you are.

Really? Roam around online, and you will find many loners , Oh so recluse, anti social, misanthropic and what not :P Well. I know what you mean. Actually, I am accustom to a lot of space, since I am an only child, I have gotten a lot of space, which normally people usually can only think of. Also I was raised in a nuclear family system, and since, my father was a workaholic, we wouldn’t go out much. So these are the factors that contributed in making me that. And well, I come across exceedingly anti social is kinda intentional effort as well. Because I am very easy to know sort, like you spend two hours with me, and you know me inside out. And that sucks. So keep the mysterious airs around me, I have kept myself that way. It is quite feasible actually, as I have many stalkers, hence more traffic. HAH.

When did you start blogging and what is blogging to you?

5/6 years back. Before this blog, I would create a blog, keep it for sometime, and then delete it. But somehow this one is STILL breathing.

What do you think sets Your blog apart from other blogs?

It’s diversity and my “middle class” sense of humor. *Go figure*

Your fav pastime?

Gulping books– history, philosopy, fiction etc, listening to music/radio, movies, tv shows–sitcoms, talk shows, political talk shows, series etc, net surfing, news, reading about politics and religion. HAH, looks like I got no life. My life is all about pastime.

Your guilty pleasure?

Chic lits, Gossip girl and likes, Gossiping, ORKUTTING, and the fact that before starting any book, I tend to read the end first.

Your passion?

A word ridiculously used by masses for everything they ought to do, pretending to have an emotion, without fathoming the depth of it.

Your fav book?

Too many. Really. AND as I mentioned, before starting any book, I tend to read the end first, so anything and everything with GOOD ending. I don’t love books, I live them.

Your fav movie?

TOO MANY. Mainly I like period films, thrillers, romance, and comedy.

Your fav food?

Chicken Biryani, KFC ka Zinger Burger, almost all kinds of burger, Italian, potato ka paratha, nihari, kabab, kulchay, rice, chicken in any form except in curry, french fries, patties, peas, beans, samosas, chips and anything very very VERY spicy.

Ice cream (esp: tutti fruiti), cake, sheer chorma, raas malayee, jelly and fruit trifle.

Your strength?

Strength is dependent on a situation. Strength itself is nothing. It’s different situations that erupt different strengths in us.

Your weakness?

It’s easy to enrage me.

Your 3 qualities?

I think, self praise is uncool. And your qualities should be defined by others.

Your 3 flaws?

3? I have 3000 :P. My extremist disposition–either I am too good or too bad. I am slothful. And I am not tech savvy, I don’t even know how to install the windows. But I hear, that guys actually are repulsive to tech savvy girls, and find it cute when girls are stuck up with little tech probs and so ? So I guess, the last one isn’t exactly a flaw :P

Your best feature?

No, I don’t have any “best” feature. But I can tell you my bearable one. It’s my lips. Well, that’s what I have been recently told by someone!

Your worst feature?

EVERYTHING. I wish I could change my looks, from head to toe.

What is your sex appeal? I think it’s your eyes.

Well no, and I don’t have any idea about it. Honest!

Have you ever been in love?

Whoa. No. Do you REALLY read my blogs? Well if you do, you should already have known that how pompous I am about the fact that I have never been in love!

Describe your ideal?

This is pointless. When I meet him, my innumerable blog posts will do that.

What turns you on?

Power, rugged looks, broad collars, good sense of dressing, knowledge, good conversationalist, wits and intelligence.

What turns you off?

LONG LIST. I have a post dedicated to it :P

Your fav quality in opposite gender?

Power, rugged looks, broad collars, good sense of dressing, knowledge, good conversationalist, wits and intelligence.

Your fav quality of your gender?

Good sense of dressing, knowledge, good conversationalist, wits and intelligence

What you despise in opposite gender?

Misogyny, hypocrisy, shallow mentality and too religious.

What you despise in your own gender?

Talking against their own gender, I-get-so-many-rishtas pride and do-you-get-rishtas and likes questions.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Silence.

What was the happiest and gloomiest moment of your life?

Happiest yet to come.

Gloomiest, last year in April. 13th April, the day my father had a heart attack, and 14th, 15th and 16th April, when he was on ventilator.

What is your greatest fear?

To not live the life I want. But will have to live the life I get.

If you could pick a travel destination, anywhere in the world, what would your choices be?

I am extremely homey by nature, hate travelling or going out for that matter. But IF, then I would like to travel countries with rich history. Greece, Italy, Jerusalem, Morocco etc. And far east.

What’s the first thing you notice about a person?

Well nose. I have a tendency to categorize noses on animals’ name. Parrot noses (the hooked ones), elephant noses (Too long with oval shaped nostrils), chimpenzee noses (flat and round), nosy monkey nose (Big noses, end part is wider), crow noses ( slant ones) , donkey noses ( most part of the face is occupied by nose), hen noses ( nose, ONLY for the namesake), eagle noses (GOD, what were you thinking?), cat nose ( round and a lil flat) etc.

What you think about the interview.

Well I think you did a good job. I enjoyed answering, your questions were interesting and I think there is nothing left to know about me :P Smart. You covered almost all aspects. That’s why I made a separate category for it :P Thanks for taking out time for this interview. It was very thoughtful of you. Thanks. Really :)

Dare you! Outlive your High School Life!

Last year around this time, one of my high school best friends, who I have an interesting history with, cameback in my life. It was awesome. It was awesome to realize that how much our thoughts have matured. And also, it was awesome to know about our high school rivals dropping out of college, not having a good job, living on their hubby’s pocket money and being ended up with fat or short or ugly or in some cases, all three of them, hubbies. But something I realized that wasn’t awesome. It is that High school haunts us all our lives. And you can never outlive the types you meet in High School. In fact, it is the High School where we are categorized, for rest of our lives. So, here I present the types of high school students. Keep looking for them around you, and in case you don’t find them, look in the mirror!

The Diva of the class: She is beautiful with aristocratic airs. Fithly rich, and involved in many charity works–mainly, back in my days distributing and posting pamphlets regarding variety of abuses and injustices, and in today’s time, sharing and joining pages at Facebook regarding variety of abuses and injustices.  She has an amiable disposition, but likes to keep within her sorority. Many girls are (secretly)  in awe of her, and many guys (secretly) fantasize her. She is out -of -your- league sort. So girls , in general , remain on hello-hi terms with her, and guys are happy having her as a figment of their imagination. Only, it is actually a very unconscious realization, that keeps you from her, that being with her means it is all about her, and always will be. And she is too self-absorbed to even realized that.

Minions: Too easy to spot, and too pathetic to write about. But one thing, that Mean Girl may not be as mean, it is THIS very kind , which makes her look that way. Trust me.

The Mean Girl: She is pretty and she knows it. But what she doesn’t know is that she is not as pretty as she thinks she is, or let’s say, as her cronies tell her she is. She bullies everyone who comes in her way, and wants, makes and does things her way. If you lit your room in positive light for hours, you will realize that she has exceptional leadership qualities. But then again, as long as she’s around, you have to hide in the dark,  sulk,  entertain the idea of throwing acid on her plastic face but then feel for her poor little boyfriend, who only has her pretty face as his last hope. Puh-leez drop the idea. You are too humane for that. May be.

The Awesome Girl: She IS simply A-W-E-S-O-M-E. Awesome student and good in extra curricular activities. She is fun and awesome-natured. Popular in class and has awesome reputation overall. Good looking with awesome attitude. Everything about her is just awesome. She is sorta complete package. Which is AWESOME. Guys often at different points, feel tempted to approach her. But Alas! Too late. Cause she now belongs to THAT equally AWESOME guy. And anyways, she was a little too awesome for you!

The girl- next- door: She is the type, who usually Amma jaan-s hit on, instead of their sons. She is nice and is usually found smiling. She is mostly, socially conservative, and always traditional. Sometimes, she has holier-than-thou attitude, but that’s okay. Overall, she is good and wish or do no harm to anyone. They truly live up to her goody good tag.

The Love Guru: So fancy in films and books, so grueling in reality. She wishes to be just like her kind is depicted in films and books: Pretty, gutsy, having guys going gaga over her and awesome. Except that she is none of them. To make matter worse, she likes to befriend with girls who are pretty and “busy”.  So half of her time spends on gulping her friends’ narcissitic tendencies, listening to their love stories, solving their love problems and giving them best advices. And rest, obsessing over her average looks, sulking over her ineptness and being confused. The Love Guru is, in actuality an out and out case of identity crises! She likes to think she is deep. Because she has a blog. Yeah!

The Studious missy: She studies everywhere she can and even where she can not. She keeps to herself and her head buried in books. Sugar coatedly people call her bookish and reserved. But deep down inside, they know that she is actually boring, and insignificant.

The Nerd: NIGHTMARE. NIGHTMARE. NIGHTMARE. She gives you such a tough competition that you start considering suicide, your only relief. She wears specs which are posh and carries herself with an I-am-the-smartest-and-I-know-it attitude. No matter what your skin tone is, she can make you green within seconds. And the irony is, that you have a lot of respect for her at the same time.

The Girly type : A girl with typical girlish attributes–good in cooking, well disposed and presentable– and a very cute face. She studies and persue a career in the fields, that are, as a general rule, belongs to girls only ( BTW, Medicine’s monopoly on it, is over. Though it still is grand). And she does so, solely and entirely for one purpose: To land herself a good rishta. Yes, her aim of life is to get married to a guy who is either a doctor, or an engineer, or a doctor, or an engineer or an engineer with an MBA or an MBA on high designation or a CA. She knows the art of being sweet on face, especially with the ones who have eligible bhai-jaans, and be so interesting catty with her bestie, behind their backs. Life with them , is NEVER dull. True story!

The Rocking girl: She does, everything a guy can. A daredevil.  And that’s the reason why girls, in general, are proud of her, and guys , without any exceptions, intimidated by her. She is rebellious, brave, daring and has in-your-face attitude. You wanna have one friend like her at least, and never wanna have a daughter like her, no, not even in the least!

The Sweetie- pie: A conventionally very pretty girl. She is very sweet, loving and likeable. She doesn’t have any particular drawbacks, and she doesn’t have anything that can be added. She is just sweet, and loving, and pretty, and likeable.

The (to be politically or liberally correct) FRIENDLY girl: At start, she comes across as someone very very friendly and happy-go-lucky type. She shakes hands with everyone, talks to everyone and becomes best friends forever (BFF) with everyone, instantly. She is perky and naughty, and guys start to regard her as one of them. But slowly and gradually, you realize that she actually likes attention and enjoys the company of guys more. By the end of the term, half of the class, secretly, starts having issues with her and finds her annoying. And no matter how unbiased, and liberal you are, you tend to think, she is easy and a cow!

April Love…

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PS: I was preparing for a test, actually not. This was just out of boredom. Kindly, read it in the good spirit. I ain’t no professional, and don’t even intent to be one.

Times when I was crushed.

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So finally I am over my recent crush. He was one of my major crushes. Yeah, I have had quite a few major crushes and infinite amount of minor crushes, ranging from 10 days to 1 hour time. Latter are as significant in my life, as any other political party in Karachi, and former have as mighty influence in my life as MQM has in Karachi. Err, okay, not “influence” influence but let’s say that I learned something or the other from them, or well, I would like to believe so? Because…that way it will make an awesome blog material. So here is the list of my major crushes, and things that I learned from them. NOT IN ORDER.

K or E or both: Okay, my first ever crush or crushes. Confused? Wait, I will explain. K and E were best friends and my class mate in … 1st grade. Both were brilliant. They always used to stand 1st or 2nd in the class, when E would take 1st position, then K would be on 2nd and vice versa. Yeah, just like it happened in movies. They would never let the competition come in between their friendship or till the finals (… patience, you shall find out). I liked both of them, for thier immense intelligence. And as individuals, I liked K for he was SHOOOOO funny and E for he was OMGodly good looking. Anyways, through out my 1st grade I thought there would be a day, when they both would fight for me, and world would be flabbergasted that a harmless and naive girl, played such a vital role in breaking their rock solid friendship. However, I didn’t realize that I went so far with my imagination. Too far that I was actually out of their sight. Only one day, in the last period– when your class teacher usually loses all her energies, and decides to sit in the corner, checks copies and let’s the kids do what they want to– me and other brats got together in the first row and started singing songs in funny ( or at least we thought) voices, and laughing and laughing some more, “E” joined us. I tried feigning that I was too busy having fun, and didn’t notice his inclusion. But after a while, very carefully I decided to give him a look, and when I looked at him, Whoa! He was already looking at me. It was then, I learned about THE look from a man, when he is checking you out. Anyways, he left the school after 1st grade. Oh and he got 1st position in the finals, and K got second. K was very sad on the result day. May be there was a competition between them, they just managed to cap it. But couldn’t for long, in fact the rabbit from the cap was more uglier. As K told everyone that the reason why he got 1st was because his eldest sister was a teacher in our school. And it was then, I first learned about Nepotism.

Physics Sir (10th grade): He was on of those father figure like teachers, who would talk to you very softly and instead of judging you on your academic record, would actually try and understand your weak points. And in my case, understand why you do what you do. He came to know what a brat I was in school, from my previous classes’ teachers. In fact, many teachers even warned him about the tough time he would get, for he was my class teacher. Needless to mention that he did. But somehow he knew the art of making you repent without lambasting you. His cold look and frigid tone was a sword and at times a shield. And if used with correct timings, you will come out victorious. And he did. Everytime. But also, he had a warm side. I remember at a point, I was not asking questions that I would usually do in his class. He asked me if I am all okay and anything bothering me. To which I replied very confidently with nathing. He smiled and said if there is anything wrong you can always tell me. I nodded. He said, alright and start studying, exams are near, beti.

And I realized that someone’s oblivion can also make you repent.

Physics Sir (11th grade): It was plain and simple. He was young,  decent, tall and had a nerdy look. I was 16/17, studying in a all girls’ institution. So something bound to happen…from my side. And not only mine…na not his–don’t think too far, did I not mention he WAS very decent– but this other class mate of mine. How do I know? Because she was pretty vocal about it. And her friends were too loud about it. I decided that when you are up against a gang, alone, pretend a blase attitude and silently plan to smack them down. So, I would always read the topic before I go to his class and answer his questions. Perhaps first time in my life, I try to portray myself as an intelligent student. But soon I realized my rival was the smartest one in the class, and that wasn’t exactly my forte. So I thought to do what I was good at, i.e. seeking attention. I did everything I could to seek his attention. Lame jokes, loud expressions, and stupid questions, you name it. But somehow my rival due to her awesome grades was taking the lead. I was disappointed. I decided to disappear on him, for some time. And I did. Yeah. No. Actually I was missing some drama. Excuse me for that. What happened was that I had to miss out on few classes, because my cousin was getting married. See? How plain that sounds. Anyhow, so when I returned, it was hard for me to cope up with scalers and vectors, and waves and young’s double slit experiment and bla bla bla that usually goes on in physics. My vanity didn’t allow me to go up to him and ask for extra classes. Especially, infront of my nemesis. And it was then, when after a class, infront of my rival, he called me out and asked with enormous concern, if you are facing any problems, I can give you extra classes. And I learned, to every infatuation there is an equally opposite reaction, when you finally get the suck-it-losers-he-notices-ME satisfaction!

Pretty guy (PG): He was my classmate in CSS preparatory classes. He was that pretty boy who in high school get noticed on first day, for his prettiness. The easy ones try to become friends with him ASAP. The eye candy enjoys first few months of glory. Oh and he also knows how to play a guitar. And gets appreciated, regardless the fact that Jimi Hendrix would turn the whole graveyard upside down if he heard him playing the guitar. Anyways, a pretty face with a guitar is an instant hit. However, after some time, no one seems to be in his awe anymore. And he outrightly becomes least significant. And so did my crush. I learned that not every pretty face can charm you. And har guitar bajanay wala larka, “deep” nai hota.

Internet Crush: I have never met anyone like him on the internet. I could sense his opponents’ hearts thumping widly, and drown in sweat, when they had to face him. He had answers to every freaking question of the world. He was unfathomably tough and unbeatably witty. I was completely awestruck. He has the honor of being on my crush list for the longest time. But finally I got over him, because you eventually do get over things and people, you don’t share an indentity of interests. I learned that the charm wears out quickly when you can’t relate to people and they are just pleasant to your senses for sometime, but not a sense of pleasure.

Law teacher (in 1st year): Rugged looks, wits and brains, he had it all. At a very young age, he achieved a lot. And that too on his own. He was from a very influential political family, but I know for a fact that he never used his family name. It was my first year at law school, and my class was his first batch, as a teacher. First-s are first. Me and my class liked him,  and he was also very fond of us. He helped us a lot, not only in his subject but other subjects as well. He had an awesome teaching style, so his classes used to be fun. Most of all, unlike other teachers who freak you out about their subject, he would always say to us to take chill pill. However, it was hard to take chill pill when we used to have heated political discussions in the class. Jiyala as he was, it was harder for him to gulp anything against his party. MQMer as I am, it was hardest for him to let him say anything against my party. But I endured it all. I thought, it’s okay, everyone has positives and negatives, it is the ratio which matters. He had more positives, so it’s okay. Except that it was not. One fine day, he said something really abrasive about operation clean up, and it was then I learned once a jiyala always a jiyala. And ma—yyyyy beeeeee an MQMite always an MQMite.

Law teacher (in final year): Tall, dark and in the army… what more can you ask for? Nothing. But he had more. He had a very husky and intelligent voice, a nonchalant attitude and a passion for his work. You know one of those COOL guys back in high school, who were smart, and sporty. And whoever becomes their girlfriend, was considered…Whoa…!!! Lucky SHE! Yea. That kind. I quite liked him for his other attributes as well. Best thing I liked about him, was that he would never ignore what I have to say and would always answer my questions. What else can a woman ask for? Oh and he was married. AND I was happy for him. It was going smooth. Until one day, he showed what a man he is. Man: a double faced person, says a lot of fancy stuff but never means it. So my friend and I were discussing how to get an internship with some teachers, and he just barged in and said, “Complete your finaaaals first, market is saturated anyways, no jobsfor anyone, impossible to find any” and waved his hand. And I was spellbound. All his motivational talks, dream big speeches and you-can-do-it-COME-ON verbose were just confined to the class room, when he could do/have done something for us, then THAT’S what he had to say. I learned that NEVER EVER believe words of a man. When they say, action speaks louder than words, they actually say it for men!

It’s not easy being an average looking…

Sitting near a couple, and eavesdropping in my school. I feel no shame in mentioning that a traditional couple conversation session was going on between them, and I was listening to it with a keen interest while pretending to read a book. However, as you all would know or if you don’t then you should, that I am someone who has a flair for drama. People make magic, and I make things dramatic. And this one is no exception. So the part of conversation, I chose to make dramatic is here,

Girl: OMG! I look so hideous.

Guy: No you are beautiful.

Girl: Come on, I know I am ugly.

Guy: NAW. You are not.

Girl: You know it. I am not as good looking as you are.

Guy: Hey. I don’t care about your looks. Your brains matter to me the most. You are super smart, and that’s what matters, and not how you look.

And at THIS very point, I couldn’t help but drop my other sensory organ, and briefly glanced at the girl. Well, she was average looking, and looked someone like who knew that she WAS average looking. And thanks to the very moment, I managed to catch a glimpse of pain on her face, and I have a feeling that if I were sitting next to her, I could hear her gasp.

I know, perhaps that’s not the reaction one should expect from a girl, when her guy professes to love her for her brains and makes it clear that looks don’t matter.

Except that it’s the only reaction one should expect!
I can totally understand what she felt. What she felt is what almost all average/below average looking females feel everytime, when they are encountered by similar dialogues by their partners. People just miss out on their expression because of the full fledge admiration they instantly develop for the great and big hearted admirer of brains. I am not implying there’s anything wrong with giving preference to brains. In fact, brains SHOULD be given preference. However, while giving preference to brain, the preferers(?) should utilize their prefered choice as well.

 Is it necessary to mention how you don’t care about her looks? Don’t you think that way you are bolstering the fact that she IS average looking? Why do you even have to state anything about her looks, when it was her brains that you fell for? Do you realize that by  appreciating her brains, using the word “looks” in the same sentence, you are depreciating her overall?

DON’T ANSWER. They were rheterical questions.

An average looking girl, already KNOWS how she looks. And that too very well. Because all her life, she has been told so, expressively and impliedly. How can I say for sure? Because I am myself one.

One of my earliest memories is being told by my mother to pull my nose as much as I could, and that’s when I first learned what I lack in looks department. I spent my whole childhood fixing my nose. However, that doesn’t end there. As I grew up, I realize that I was not fair. I was told that my mother used to be milky white with a how-come-you-are-not manner, and I was teased and called Kali Lambi churail (black witch) by my cousins. Only I know how anxiously, back in high school, I waited to turn 16 in my early teens, because of the damn poets lauding the lasses of this age. But alas! Bookish talk phrase turned out to be true for me. And yet not for my friends. They fortunately (for them) and unfortunately (for me) were pretty and became prettier with the help of the age 16. Not only that but they had equally “pretty” boyfriends to endorse that. And I had one several phrases with one meaning haunting me wherever I would go. That is, you look so weak ( by the sophisticated lot), do you eat anything? ( by the “witty” lot), look at weight, you will disappear in some days ( by friends and family), skeleton in bio lab ( by ^&*^%#$%^&*&(*(&%$#@@#$%^&*@#$%^&!@#$%^) etc etc. So I had to make peace with the fact that I am too gaunt to be hot. AND now you know why I try to be cool!

For an average looking girl, spending teenage under the shadow of alarmingly good looking friends undermines everything that can be undermined. And what can not be undermined is made dormant. The point is an average looking girls have struggled with their looks all their life. They have been told lovingly by their loved ones on how to improve on their looks, they have been dissed by their thawrters for their weak link is their looks, and they have been hurt by everyone who wanted to/felt like hurting them and their looks was the easiest target.

The last thing an average looking girl would want is the reinforcement of the very fact from their partners. You see, an average looking girl know that either you must have seen her brain or heart or anything that doesn’t have anything to do with the looks. Therefore, YOU DON’T HAVE TO STATE THE OBVIOUS. Admire her “other” qualities WITHOUT comparing them with her looks. Don’t need to bother your tongue with sucha long sentence. And just learn how to appreciate qualities without blaspheming it. Thank you very much.

PS: If I ever have a boyfriend, and IF he ever manages to read my blog and this post then, here’s to you. Read this post carefully, this could be a reason why I would ditch you. OR if you got here a “little late” then darling this IS one of the reasons, I ditched you!

So…

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My loyal readers and stalkers, I am NOT getting married. :( [?]

As it happens, one fine day, I was sitting and thinking that am I fascinating enough to have stalkers? Then I thought, may be I should find it out. And then I thought, how should I find it out. I kept thinking for like hrs and hrs and hrs, and then it hit me marriage is the biggest transition of your life. We, all want to know, who ended up with who. And that’s how the status of your life: Happy, satisfactory, so-so, below average, sad, disastrous or hallow will be gauged. Because that status, in reality, is a scoreboard; that decides whether it was a ridiculous fiasco, an honorable defeat, tie, landslide victory or win by a slight margin, in the game of who-gets-a-better-spouse-hence-have-better-life, against your mum but tough competitors. This silent competition is not as vile as it sounds. It actually depends on your position, if you and your opponent know about the competition then it is, for both of you, until the innings end, and IF YOU win, that is. But not when your competitor is unaware of the match, and you are playing in the field all alone, and if you won, then it would be heaven. However, if you have a secret competitor, who has his/her own rules and own decided target, then it’s okay. Ignorance is bliss. And in this case, it would be for both of you.

Anyhow, from this fake marriage episode, I learned plenty of things. They are as follows,

1. People who pretend to have least interest in your life, have the most.

2. NEVER EVER put your blog ad. in you FB profile if you have family added. Their demand for explanation has no ending. You are constantly being watched. And watched. And watched some more.

3. No matter how ugly and of least significance you are of, in your real life; there will always be number (small or big) of people who are inquisitive about your life.

4. High school haunts us all our lives.

5. High school rivals are the toughest ones, to beat up.

6. Your best friends, no matter how well they know that they will be first-one-to-be-informed-about-all-the-major-happenings-of-your-life, will be shocked/surprised with hint of yawping.

7. Some friends will pretend it’s-alright if you didn’t tell them, but their tone would betray them.

8. Everyone wants to know “who” are you getting married to. And consider yourself standing before a tribunal while telling about the “who”. Because that “who” is not actually the question wala who, it’s an acronym for What does he do? How you met? OOOOOOOOO!!!! do you have his/her pic?.

9. There are people who are happy for you.

10. There are people who are happy if your score is in descending order.

11. Yes! Everyone is interested to know who you end up with.

12. Almost 90% of the people will break their silence on the news of marriage.

13. 10% are either wuss or jealous or insecure or losers or (fancy yourself) secret admirers to gather guts to speak up.

14. It feels awesome to have stalkers. Regardless of their quantity!

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15. No matter how much you have made it clear that you are gonna shout from your rooftop, make it overtly dramatic and do shamelessly everything cheesy when you get married. People ALWAYS believe, a simple , one liner , boring and very plainly executed, marriage news.

So finally…

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I am getting married :)