Pictures of me:

 

Okay, I know I already made it quite obvious how much I hate getting pictured, and moreso how ugly I look in them.

But there are times when I expect myself to do better and look better…at least in the pictures. Just like last Friday when I attended a friend’s wedding. It was the first time in my life, I was attending a friend’s wedding I was a tad nervous. Don’t ask why, you well know this and all the gory details in my next blog post. As of now, I want to talk about pictures. So I was saying, I thought I looked better (by my standard of course) in my beautiful black dress (check the picture) but Alas. Trust me, this time I even thought to put my picture on my profile WITH “MY OWN” face attached but destiny had its own plans. I mean this isn’t fair, after all I am just a girl who feels like putting her pictures on her profile sometimes and wants to receive a lot of likes and compliments. However, I don’t see that happening any time sooner or EVER, as camera doesn’t like me. And it is hard to dodge and delude myself into believing that I look good in the pictures so I should put them and should take all the awe-you-look-SOOO-beautiful and likes compliments to be true. But I can’t. You know, receiving compliments on your profile pictures or pictures is like registering an FIR; you can have it recorded but it can’t be established as a piece of evidence. Just like that you can have beautiful, pretty and what not on your profile pictures but it does not constitute that you ARE beautiful, pretty and what not in reality too. Umm, that was an otiose analogy. Ah whatever.

Image

Anyways, so to cut the long story short, I didn’t take my camera to my friend’s wedding and got my pictures taken from the other friend’s camera, and thereby I couldn’t delete my ugly pictures and they were uploaded (Okay, I know I insisted her to uploaded them BECAUSE I looked better on the deceptive LCD) and the following were, some of her captions on my pictures.

//Abida’s usual non-expression.//

//and Abida finally dares to smile!!!//

True, I am usually like this while getting pictured. However, totally wrong this time. I was trying to give my best pose in my non-expression picture, and was looking at the stage in amusement in my dare-to-smile picture. But my pictures don’t manifest that. I guess pictures are about our perception of the moment, then the moment itself.

You see your high-school rival smiling with her/his dashing better-half and you conclude her/his fairytale ending. May be it is an ending, however not a fairytale one. The smiling face flashing on your screen could be forced. May be s/he thinks s/he has moved on but subconsciously hasn’t. AND in two years time s/he realizes that it was not over, and s/he is still in love with her/his Ex and hate the fact that her/his spouse is a person who s/he pretends to be living physically with but mentally s/he resides with someone else and somewhere else.

Or may be the group photograph you see of friends apparently having fun is not the case. May be the girl in the middle doesn’t like the other girl at the corner and didn’t want her to be in the picture and secretly told this to her best friend standing right next to her but her best friend told her to let her be, she and her would have more pictures taken when the other girl is not there. But guess what the other girl is always there because she is intrinsically chewing gum type but no one can do anything but to pretend to have a good time with her and get pictured.

Or could be the besties in the cover photo laughing and hugging each other, are actually cloaking their desire to look better than the other. Or perhaps the profile picture of two people who had just met at a party, and thought they could be friends forever but their friendship was short lived and the profile picture got buried under a pile of other wangling pictures. Or probably the siblings’ fancy pictures taken together, you think they are the best family in the world, only if you knew what sort of relationship they have with each other at home. Or possibly… Errr HOW DID I END UP HERE? What exactly I was trying to say?

May be that I ain’t as ugly as I come in my picture. I have a very expressive face, only if it remains so in front of the camera too. Perhaps one day even I could muster the courage and put my own picture on the display.

Only if pictures don’t alter reality.