How are you????

How are you?

Whenever I am encountered by this question, I don’t know what to answer. Mostly, I nod with my hideous but polite smile. And murmur something… pretend to murmur something.  No one knows what, because no one cares to know. And thank god for that because even I don’t know what I murmur.

Umm, I kinda sorta take this very question, literally. And I kinda sorta expect the other person to be asking me this, genuinely. I KNOW…


But at the same time, I am secretly thankful that it is not meant to be literal and genuine. Because, whoa, what am I ever going to say if it is.

I mean how are you? Well, I am a below average looking girl who can’t help it. How are you? Yeah, extremely frustrated lady being paid peanuts and who still have to take pocket money at this age. How are you? Under severe complexes, thanks to Facebook, adding a graphic touch to it.

Sometimes, I wonder how I would be if I had any siblings. Especially, better ones. I mean really, having a better looking sister is like being in quite a situation for the rest of your life, especially ESPECIALLY if she ends up with a handsome bloke who earns handsome amount. Or having a bro with better IQ, getting into the field that enjoys the status of being profession and subsequently attains high status and bank balance. OR knowing that your other sibling is parents’ favorite and given preference over you? GAWD, what would I say then I were asked “how are you?” then. O’ well, I am inferior to my siblings and people are often shocked to know that we are related!


Ah… the curious case of “how are you?” At least, at the moment.

How are you? How am I…I can’t tell. Fine Thank you? How are you? Also fine? Also thank you? Reallie?

Are you sure?

Are you not suffering from bouts of depressions? Are you not looking to find a way to cope up with it? That’s how you are.

You are not fine, good or GREAT. You are ditched by life on so many levels that you have lost the count. You are being treated unfairly by your family, friends and everyone around you. You are being constant judge on your looks, personality and competence that you have stopped caring. You are being confined to social conventions, class status and bogus inquisitions that you can’t reach out to what you had always desired. You are not living a life you dreamed of. You are hit, bitten and squeezed by reality. You are being mocked by life saying “haha-hehe…so-how-exactly-do-you-want-me-to-be? That’s how you are.

How are you? Right now I am in the process of being pretentiously victimized. But in actuality I am not so.

How am I? Well, sometimes I am too blunt and too hard on people. But that’s not exactly how I am. For most part, it is just a reaction. Reaction to an action because every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Only, in my case, it is slightly more than equal. But HEY I never started it. So how am I? I am harsh with fat people. Because hey… calling yourself chubby doesn’t make you look good. FAT IS UNHEALTHY. Stop cribbing about the fact that how less you eat but magically its double shows on you. AND PUHLEEZ be done with your lectures how a skinny should not be skinny yada yada yada.  BECAUSE it makes you look fat? HOW ARE YOU? YOU ARE FAT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

 And how am I? I am sardonic towards people with past relationships. I loathe them for ruining all their special moments with the wrong person. I pity them for being crazy for someone who was not the one. I find it funny how they use the same words, same compliments, same promises, same dreams, same plans, same feelings and perhaps the same moments for the right one, which were once deserved for someone not worth it. And I am amused how they try to convince me how it was all worth it, how it has changed them for a better person and how… Oh well, cut the crap, you have dedicated a special part of your life on the wrong person. Tell me how is that better? I am single. BUT HOW ARE YOU? YOU ARE JUST A REPEATED TELECAST, WITH NOTHING SPECIAL, NOTHING NEW BUT ONLY BLUE FOR THE ONE. And that’s just sad. So you are sad.     

And how am I? I am quite proud of the fact that I am an only child. NO, I never missed having sibling around when I was growing up. I was a pretty, social and popular kid (YES, THERE IS A COMMA BETWEEN PRETTY AND SOCIAL AND NO IT’S NOT A TYPO). The sense of owning everything is a point of pride with me. And how are you? You are in constant denial that parents love all their kids equally and all are paid equal attention. You all are compared by your parents, behind your backs and hell, even in front, on who is the smarter, who is the prettier and who is whatever. You get jealous when you have to share everything at home and when your parents spend more on your other sibling than you. You grew up with a silent competition with your siblings, in order to get noticed, get attention and get more. So, I AM ALONE BUT I AM ALWAYS IN THE LIMELIGHT. BUT YOU ARE ALONE IN THE CROWD. HA HA HA THAT’S HOW YOU ARE. AND GUESS WHAT? YOU CAN NEVER RUN AWAY FROM IT.

Umm, how am I? Well, I am screwed.  As I had to write four rejoinders… and apologies for the abrupt ending… but that’s how I am.